Blood makes you related, loyalty makes you family.
– Author Unknown
Blood makes you related, loyalty makes you family.
– Author Unknown
I read this article on the Huffington Post and it expressed so well how I feel about photos in general that I need to share it with all of you.
If you’re engaged to be married, then quick, tell me why it’s worth it to have an engagement photo session?
I was reading a thread on a wedding forum where brides weighed in about that. And all the comments were offering the same two or three opinions:
“It’s a chance to get comfortable with the photographer,” “can use it for the save the date,” “it’s a way to see how I photograph.”
And there were those who saw no value in it at all. “What for?” “Why bother?” “Who needs it?”
But there’s something big about engagement photos that no one ever thinks of. No bride, no groom, no photographer, ever seems to consider.
Because consider this: here’s this little window of time in your life. A slice of time that perhaps may be only a few months to a few years long. Not a lot of time at all, really, compared to your entire life.
But yet what happened in this small, tiny, sliver window of time is disproportionately huge.
In fact, something’s happened that impacts the rest of your entire life.
In that little window of time, tiny little miracles happened.
Because in that tiny little window of time, you found someone. And they found you.
You fell in love. They fell in love with you.
And you both chose to make a life with each other. Commit to each other. Maybe bring a new family line into this world.
This changes the course of both your lives. And correspondingly like a ripple effect in a pond it affects everyone around you. And in time, the descendants you’ve brought forth by virtue of your commitment, will affect everyone in the future, until the end of time. Because as your generations go out into the world they will heal, help, sacrifice, influence, and in many ways touch the world around them.
You have literally changed the course of the world.
That’s why I can say your engagement is huge.
And to photograph this historic chapter of your life, to have this time forever preserved so it’s there to be seen whenever you wish to pull back the curtain of time and revisit this time in your life and feel the emotions again…
Because photos aren’t for today. People who see engagement photos as a mere test shoot for the wedding or as a way to get familiar with being photographed are seeing photos as only for today.
But photographs are for the rest of our lives. There’s the joy it brings when your memories have dimmed to be able to see these times again. And there’s something magical about being able to literally show your memories to someone new. Someone who probably hasn’t even been born yet. And to be able to say, “Look. This is me and your grandfather when we were young, at the beginning of our love.”
Not only to visit again the beautiful, historic times of your life, but in time, for all your generations to see from whom they came, and the love they came from, too.
And that’s the real reason to have photos like these made.
This morning Gavin, my youngest, woke up earlier than usual. At 5:45a.m. to be exact. We had been hearing him complaining from his crib for a while, but the real crying didn’t begin until 5:45 came around. The horrifying part is that my alarm clock is set to go off at 5:55a.m. He robbed me of ten whole minutes which are oh-so-precious to me.
This got me thinking of how different all of my kids have been when it comes to sleep training. Trying to get Gavin to sleep through the night in his crib is not a faraway memory. In fact, he didn’t sleep on his own through the night until he was about 8 months old, he is now 15 months. Now I’m convinced that sleep training has very little to do with the techniques used or parenting skills and more to do with the baby’s personality.
See, Joshua is my oldest, and when he was born he simply refused to sleep in his crib. Refused! I would rock him and feed him until he was fast asleep. Then moving slowly and in my tippy toes I’d walk over to his crib and gently lay him down while holding my breath so as to not cause any movement. The moment his little back touched the sheets he would open his eyes. If left there awake, he would scream in a matter of minutes. So what did we do? We carried him to our bed and he slept with us until he was three years old.
Khloe, my middle child and the princess of the house was independent from the day she was born. She slept in a bassinet next to our bed from the day we brought her home from the hospital. Every three to four hours I would hear her whimper so I’d get up, change her, feed her, swaddle her in her blanky and place her awake back in her bassinet. She would sooth herself back to sleep (without a sound). This little trooper was sleeping through the night at four months and alone in her room by five.
When I was preparing for Gavin’s arrival I would say every time the topic came up that I wouldn’t have a hard time with this, I would just follow everything I did with Khloe. I was so confident, that it is embarrassing to admit. It’s funny how life has a way to humble you. Gavin was a screamer! He cried ALL THE TIME. Day and night. Just like the picture you see above. In part, I’m sure this had something to do with his milk allergies, but the crying was non-stop.
See for yourself:
As he got older he would sleep longer stretches from 10:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m. – sometimes 3 – and would wake up screaming. After changing him and feeding him, it would take almost an hour to soothe him back to sleep. It was exhausting and we did this every night for 8 months. To tell you that I don’t know how my marriage survived this is an understatement. The night that he slept through I was so scared thinking something had happened that I snuck into his room to make sure he was breathing.
This confirms my believe that sleep training is more about the baby than techniques. I did everything to try to get Joshua and Gavin to sleep. I read books, blogs, followed tips from other parent, I even put cereal in Joshua milk bottle (gasp!). I bathed them late at night with chamomile soap, with lavender soap, I warmed up their milk, I swaddled them, I un-swaddled then, I let them cry-it-out, I rocked them to sleep, I did everything within my power and nothing worked until they were ready.
I am by far not knocking any technique out there. And if you are going through a rough time with sleep training yourself, please know that I’m 100% behind you in trying to find a solution because I have been that mom in the corner soothing her baby while crying herself. And if it works for you great (honestly), but if it doesn’t I want you to know that you are not alone. I have been in your shoes, and it does get better and you will be able to sleep again. Only with time.
If you have a sleeping technique that has worked for you, write to me at email@example.com and tell me about it.